I consider myself to be a very positive, bubbly person. Most of the time, I am happy and I mean that. I love to smile and I like to think that people enjoy being around me…
being positive is a great quality… but what you don’t know is, deep down I’m internalizing EVERYTHING. Things can get quite dark and dreary, but I tend to put on my happy face. I usually go days/weeks feeling great, just letting things go, until I burst. Last night I had one of those nights where I just could not stop crying.
and it actually felt so good…
I just have a lot going on right now and I just feel, well, Ugh.
Here’s what’s on my mind…
… the asthma diagnosis let me down last week.
… my father-in-law had emergency brain surgery last weekend. he’s doing fine, and is in rehab, but it was very scary.. he fell off a ladder and had some brain bleeds.
… all of a sudden my confidence for running boston is dwindling… the decision ‘to run or not to run’ is a cloud over my head. I have one more long run to go and I will take it from there. My body isn’t feeling 21 miles this weekend, so coach moved it to next weekend… my legs need a little break this week and I’m listening to them. I’ve been training hard and I don’t want to take any chances.
… I’m in the middle of a career change. I’m super excited, but I’m scared! Let’s be honest, starting a new job feels like the first day of school. Next week ends my time (hopefully for good) in a cubicle. I start in two weeks at a start up company, in a role I’ve never been in before. Change is good but scary at the same time!
… it’s been cold, wet and gloomy in Boston. This week it was in the 30’s-40’s with NO sign of it warming up anytime soon. Honestly, why do I live here? I guess we are in this ‘pattern’ and the meterologists claim we had kind of bad winter that lingers.. GREAT. Good thing for Vitamin D supplements.
all of the above is causing me to feel very stressed and down lately.
Sorry for all of the complaining, but I have to be real, this is who I am. I can’t sit here and pretend life is perfect all the time:)
thanks for listening! Please send you virtual hugs my way.