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Wednesday Confessions

I turned 30 in November. I always thought by 30 I would have life figured out… well.. not so fast.

mary oliver

(one of my favorite quotes, ever)

What I have figured out:

-Turning 30 was a huge reality check… kind of like a slap in the face.
-Time moves really fast.
-Family is really important
-I still have a long way to go with my self confidence
-I am an athlete and will be for life… no matter how old.
-I found a hobby I love and that I am proud of… Triathlon
-I love to cook and I think I am quite good at it.
-It’s hard to make girlfriends as a 30-something
-I’m definitely an introvert… (Maybe this explains the above)

What I haven’t figured out:
-My career

I feel lost. I apologize in advance for the rambling, but it’s kind of a long story.

The ‘what I haven’t figured out’ career-thing scares me, all the time. I have been out of college for 8 years now, and I still feel ‘lost’ when thinking about what I want to do with my life/career. To back up a bit, I went to college for Kinesiology (Exercise Physiology). I picked this major based on my obvious love of exercise and what I thought was my love of science. My initial idea was to become a Physical Therapist- to me this seemed like the perfect job. Once I got deep into my major, I realized that Chemistry and other science courses were not my friend and I struggled. I graduated from the Kinesiology program feeling discouraged. Many of my friends were going on to PT school and I wasn’t. I had no idea what I wanted to do….

lost

I left college and tried personal training for that summer, at a large gym. I liked it, but I wasn’t passionate about working in a big gym and acting ‘sales like’ with the members. Feeling discouraged and needing to make money, my next best bet was to go through a staffing agency and get an office job. I ended up as a receptionist for a year at a software company. It was awful and the people treated me poorly, almost like a servant. I also hated being ‘chained’ to a desk… I am a girl who needs to move! I left after a year and started a different office job in the city as an Administrative Assistant… worked there for a year… and then started thinking about PT school again. At this time I was a little older and thought I could take on the challenge… I left my office job, worked as an aide at a PT clinic and applied to DPT programs. All of this hard work, leaving a good paying job, and ultimately I did not get into DPT school. Here I was again, feeling defeated, but thought ‘at least I tried.’ I thought it must be for a reason… and I moved on. I did not want to work in an office again, but it was my only option to make money at this time. I took on another administrative role at Pharmaceutical company, my best company yet that I had worked at… BUT it was still an office. I worked at this company for 2 years, never really satisfied with what I was doing. I was worth more than this… and this is not what I want out of life.

working

I am now at a new company, started in December, and while it’s the best company I’ve ever worked at, I’m still not sure what the heck I’m doing here. I feel like time is just passing me by as I sit in a cubicle, wondering what I could do with my life. I honestly don’t know if I will ever make it in ‘corporate America.’ I don’t like being in front of a computer all day, I hate office politics, I don’t like being indoors for 8 hours a day, and I try not to stay past 5 PM (because I have a life and I am training for an Ironman). Frankly, I don’t think I’m cut out for this kind of job. I’m not the ‘norm’ at the office… I take walk breaks/workout breaks at lunch, I bring my own lunch every day, I never take the elevator….being stuck in a cube drives me absolutely bananas.

wander

I have thought for years, what kind of job I can take that’s not a 9-5 office job, and it’s really hard! I need to make a living and I need benefits (although I could always take my hubby’s benefits). My dream job would be to work from home and have my own business. I have pondered going back to school for nutrition, but to become an RD, I would need to take ALL of those science classes all over again, no thanks. Being some kind of nutrition counselor/personal trainer at my own gym, would be ideal… but how the heck do I get there? I know deep in my heart that I am not supposed to work in an office for the rest of my life. There is always that little voice inside my head telling me: “Kristin this is not who you are”.

I am definitely lost.

Have you ever felt like changing your career? What did you do to make life better for yourself?

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4 Comments

  • Reply Bryanna March 26, 2014 at 5:38 pm

    Kristen, I know exactly how you feel!! I graduate with a BA in journalism and Political Science and was planning on Law school. I was so burnt out from school (I finished in 3 years) and I knew law school wasn’t for me. i went back to school, after receiving a certificate in Nutritional counseling, in the spring after graduation to pursue a master’s in nutrition. I have 2 semesters left in my masters, but currently work at a desk job i hate!! Harsh I know. I am definitely not an office job girl. this is definitely not what I want, but i know it’s not forever. i dont know where nutrition will take me, but i do know I love it. I want my own healthy bakery/bistro with nutritional counseling on the side, as well as a smaller gym. it’s always been my dream. I want to stay active and do what I love, and eventually I know I’ll get there, and I feel the same for you. you’ll get there. I would take some serious time, and write down what you love to do, and try to track down places that may help lead you. There are many online programs for personal trainer that are great, I plan to do that upon graduation. I hope you find whatever it is you love to do!!

    • Reply Kristin March 27, 2014 at 1:56 pm

      Hi Bryanna,
      thanks so much for your kind words.. it looks like we have a lot in common! I have been thinking about a Master’s in Nutrition for a long time now. I too, would like to have my own cafe/personal training studio/nutrition counseling business. It has been my dream since I was a little girl to have my own business. You are right, I need to focus on what I love and write things down… I have to realize that while I hate being in an office, it’s hopefully temporary and will get me to where I want to be. Do you mind telling me what program you’re doing? Are you doing an RD program? or Masters in Nutrition?

      thank you!
      Kristin

  • Reply Kristen @ Glitter and Dust April 2, 2014 at 1:30 am

    Your “What I have Figured Out List” … I can relate to all of them, except the cooking -> my husband does that 🙂 I’m sorry you feel like you have reached a dead end and are lost with what you want to do with your life. I know so many people in this same boat. It seems as though you are incredibly passionate about fitness, health, and triathlon. Why not go in that direction and work for an athletic company or event planning service that specializes in putting on races and athletic events? You definitely should not be stuck in a place where you are unhappy or feel like you are just going through the motions. Hope you find your happy!

    • Reply Kristin April 2, 2014 at 1:25 pm

      I’m so glad i’m not alone, Kristen! I’m also happy to hear you relate to my list and I’m jealous that your hubby does the cooking!! very jealous actually, lol. I would LOVE to work for an athletic company, it’s just figuring out how. I have also thought about working in event planning for races/athletic events. I hope I find my happy too, and thanks for your kind advice!

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